


Say goodbye to everything we could have been

by Catherines_Collections



Category: Psych
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Male Character of Color, Revenge, Santa Barbara Police Department
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-18 12:50:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7315846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catherines_Collections/pseuds/Catherines_Collections
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In this universe two lives end. In another, two begin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say goodbye to everything we could have been

**Author's Note:**

> AU where Gus is killed and Shawn becomes everything his father taught him, and a few things he picked up on his own.
> 
> (Season 1 ep15) inspired
> 
> Takes place most likely around season five or six, where ever it would fit best really, screw time lines. 
> 
> As per usual, I own nothing and that is a huge blessing for every character :)

His dad taught him everything he knows; taught him the skills to sell the psychic gimmick, the best way to escape a locked trunk, and the closest possible way to get away with murder. 

His dad taught him the ropes, and he perfected them. 

.

In another universe Shawn and Gus investigate, go in alone together, and usually come out with nothing more than the occasional bumps and bruises. Lassiter scolds them, knocking them both upside the head; O’Hara will glare and hide her concern in her exasperation, and Henry lectures them both on the importance of calling for back up with speeches always ending in, you know better than this Shawn.

These events belong in another universe. One that isn’t theirs. In this universe, their universe, blood stains carpet and screams don’t stop. Back-up isn’t called and police arrive late to the scene. In this universe the only reason the department even arrives is to check out a broken lead Shawn vaguely mentioned to them. 

In this universe when a gurney is brought out with a heartbreakingly familiar man lying atop of it-face covered in red-accompanied by a black body bag, members of the department run to the cart before heading for the nearest bush, not being able to face the fact that the body is still slightly warm.

In this universe gun shots echo around every corner, warnings fall onto deaf ears, and no one has been able to contact Shawn since the accident. 

.

The department mourns in silence; Lassiter continues to tirelessly look into the case, and Juliet doesn’t stop calling his phone. Henry sits alone at home and doesn’t have the slightest idea where his son is, never mind what to say to him.

Shawn Spencer hides and he schemes. He thinks and plans–plays possible scenarios, any other possible outcome, in his mind every passing second–gunshots constantly ring in his ears. He uses every skill he’s ever acquired and he plans his revenge down to the last hair. 

.

He should have been the one shot. It should have been him. It was written in the gun men's smirk, the way his finger twitched pressing the trigger, the way his eyes taunted them both. The man knew what he was doing and now Shawn does too.

The man had his chance and he lost it, now its Shawn’s turn.

.

Sometimes he thinks back to the Alice girl, one of their first cases together as psych. Thinks about the way she killed those responsible for the murder of her best friend, a girl close enough to be her sister. He thinks of when she asked him if he would have done the same if it were him in her place, thinks about how at the time he hadn’t given the scenario a second thought.

He thinks about how now there isn't a doubt in his mind of what he would–will–do; the resounding answer to a question years old echoing through his head, blending with the gunshots. 

He thinks on if he hadn’t come back five years ago to Santa Barbra, thinks on the prosperous possibilities and lives that could have been saved.

He thinks–schemes, plans, imagines, mourns–about it a lot.  


.

In another universe Shawn isn't too slow, police arrive early on sight, and the culprit is arrested before further bloodshed is even a thought. In another universe he and Gus go out for donuts after a case wrapped up in a nice little bow.

In another universe, Shawn finally asks out Juliet. Everything becomes amazing, a steady relationship, a best friend constantly by his side, and even his relationship with his dad begins to improve. 

In this universe they burry Gus on a Sunday and Shawn leaves town on a Friday.

In this universe Shawn misses the funeral and the city mourns. Juliet cries, Lassiter keeps his head bowed the entire service, and the Chief stands beside Mcnab and watches as the Guster's cry over their dead son with Henry Spencer standing by them offering condolences. 

In this universe two lives end. In another, two begin.  


.

He isn't dumb enough to get caught. He's observed all the mistakes people have made in his cases and he perfects them. 

His father should be ashamed, his father would be proud.

.

Shawn tracks the man to Denver, hotwires random cars in store parking lots and changes out license plates, to a small motel in the middle of nowhere. 

He’s in and out in less than an hour. The coroner will rule it as a suicide; the local police department will identify the victim as a wanted murder from Santa Barbra. 

The SBPD will receive a call about a wanted criminal found dead in his motel room, three shots only one of them lethal, a shot to the head. It’s a strange pattern, they’ll murmur through the line, one shot in the shoulder, one in the thigh, and one in the head all in that order. It’s a pattern designed to appear random, and no evidence suggest another person being present in the room, the officer will sigh, some people are just crazy.

“Yeah,” a dazed gray headed officer on the other line will reply, turning to look at a sad young blonde woman and distraught older man, “just crazy.”

The graying man will not comment that a personal case ended in the same result. He will not mention how the victim’s wounds were akin to a very close friend of the departments, and he most certainly will not bring up the fact the victim’s best friend has been missing since the day of his death. He will thank the officer kindly, hang up the phone with grief fueling his movements, and return to reviewing case files.

If ever asked under no circumstances will he ever admit to turning a blind eye and ignoring the similarities in the two, obliviously related, cases. 

.

It’s the one event he couldn’t foresee–but he can predict affairs, car rentals, travel schedules, and even the deaths of clients before they happen– and it’s the most important event of his, their, life that he misses.

He knows no one blames him. He knows everyone blames him.

.

They don’t hear from Shawn again, and in a way they all know they won’t, as much as they hope against it.

The SBPD continues on, more cases going unsolved than solved, and more casualties reported this year than the past few. The new recruits wonder what has once again increased Santa Barbara’s death toll. Is it the lack of enforcement? The recent influx of transfers? Or does it have something to do with the two young men who were always joking that no one has seen around for a few months?

Many are left to wonder, no one says a word. 

.

Shawn leaves Denver on a Sunday in a small black car he manages to hot wire from a grocery store parking lot. He drives past mountains and people, lakes and snow fall.

His throat’s raw, eyes burning, and mind raging. He ignores everything he unconsciously perceives, takes deep breaths and tries to focus on the road alone. 

He drives and he drives, taking a strange sort of satisfaction in the fact no one will know if he ever stops. 

.

In another universe Shawn Spencer continues to solve crimes with Burton Guster, neither ever leaving the others side. Shawn Spencer is perceived as a charming narcissist, a harmless adult child who helps the Santa Barbra police department when convenient and in need of money. Gus is his closest friend–closer than brothers those two, the officers at the station whisper–and if Spencer has been compromised a few times by that fact, well it’s an easy oversight to make for all the cases he’s closed for them.

.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed:)!


End file.
